a little post about you & I.

Sometimes I kiss people that don't make me feel like you did
and let them unbutton my shirt anyway.
Sometimes I didn't go to class b/c all I wanted to do was sleep
and just sit there and think about how it doesn't matter b/c I'm a failure already.
Sometimes I sit at the bottom of the pool until my ears pop and start to ring.
Sometimes I take a five hour nap in the middle of the day
just so my brain will stop for a while.
Sometimes I forgot the speed limit
while I played my music loud enough so everyone knew I hated the world
and sometimes I smoke so much I can't remember what time it is in hopes that everything just goes by a little faster instead of the slow pace of reality.
Sometimes I don't cry at all even though I want too so bad;
but I've run out of tears
and the energy it takes to cry.
Sometimes I shut everyone out b/c I know they deserve better.
Sometimes I just hold my pillow for a while pretending it's someone who cares/pretending you.
Sometimes I miss you and sometimes I miss myself but I don't think either are coming back so I'm learning to adapt.

17 thing I learned while being 17.

1. Sometimes things don’t go the way you expect them to at all.
2. The boy who takes your virginity is only going to love you long enough for you to stay in his bed.
3. Your first job is never the best job. But you’ll meet some of your best friends there.
4. If you're nice to the world, the world will be nice to you.
5. People are usually never who they say they are. 
6. If you love someone, you need to tell them. Nobody is good at the guessing game.
7. Make sure the people you would take a bullet for would do the same for you.
8. If a boy starts an invitation with, “Are you home alone”/”I’ll be home alone”, say no. You are a human being, not a toy to be played with.
9. Don't let the label that the masses give you define who are.
10. “Sorry” doesn't always fix what you messed up.
11. Stop wasting time wishing you could take back what you already did.
12. You are at fault sometimes.
13. There’s going to be a boy that you let get away. Yes, you loved him. It’s for the best, though.
14. Toxic people hardly ever start off toxic.
15. It’s always nice to make new friends, but never forget who your real friends are.
16. Never lose the friends that would answer their phone at 3am if you called.
17. Never lose sight of who you are because of a boy.